Divorce “Hell”
by Harlan Jacobsen
You are suffering divorce pain from separation from a long term relationship addiction, the loss of companionship, loss of normal routine, and if you were a housewife, you are even suffering from the loss of your “job”.
Now, you believe, this is all too much for you to handle, so you say……………
I am going to turn over my “legal divorce” details of my splitting up, turn that over to a stranger I have never even met before (attorney) because I am just overwhelmed.
What you do not realize is that you are “giving over” control of what happens in your life now and future to someone else.
Once you do this , you “too late” realize there is no getting control of your life back for from 6 months to perhaps as much as 18 months or more.
Your life is essentially put on “hold” and is very frustrating and stressful to find that no matter
what you do or say, you no longer have any control of what happens now and to your future.
This “my life is out of my control feeling” is guaranteed to more then double the stress of and prolonging the stress of the splitting process for twice the usual emotional recoup period.
The splitting emotional coming a part process is way too long as is and takes a devastating toll.
To knowingly double the intensity, and the duration of the process is something you should not consider lightly.
Go here and read this letter to better understand the can of worms you are opening.
Once you have attorneys, you are no longer to deal directly with your ex.
For example, let us say the STBX (soon to be ex spouse) wants to sell the pick up because
it is starting to have trouble with xyz and there is no money, (after paying several thousand dollars in attorneys retainers,) to fix it.
The STBX under the rules must contact their attorney, who does not return the call for days.
Then their attorney must contact your attorney who is away for a week hunting pheasants. .
After they finally mesh up, your attorney calls you and tells you that he doesn’t want your STBX to sell the pick up because it would just “mess up the settlement.”
You agree you do not want anything done to mess up the “settlement”.
After several more days your attorney finally speaks to your STBX attorney and informs him your STBX is not to sell the pick up.
After a couple more days of your STBX attorney being to busy, he finally reaches your SBTX and informs your STBX they must not sell the pickup.
Your SBTX is furious, calls the STBX attorney back and says to tell your attorney, the pick up is going to have to be sold whether the attorney likes it or not, because some other transportation has to be obtained to retain employment,
Your STBX attorney has trouble reaching your attorney for days because he is involved in a big trial but eventually your attorney calls and tells you what the two attorneys have decided to do about this.
Not sure if you want to hang in there and see how this “pick up thing” comes out,,,,,,,
…..but keep in mind this back and forth could take weeks in the back and forth and typically cost you well over $100 in legal “time” on your attorney bill
but this gives you an idea (tiny sample) of the emotionally maddening situation that goes on and on for months when handling your divorce thru attorneys.
