Many people these days have agreed to take a Marriage Happiness survey and found that they could not complete it honestly. That experience often leads people to question if their relationship is solid or doomed.
-The subject of Marriage Quality and Marriage Happiness are topics of everything from talk shows to your favorite supermarket magazine. While these are serious issues and require a sober thought process, they are often dealt with in a flip even comical fashion.
In reality there is nothing funny about a marriage that is on the rocks. If yours in is this category you should strongly consider, first of all, using a well-defined process to assess your situation before taking any kind of action.
Then, if there are problems identified that you are relatively sure about, you can take the next step which is defined in the next in this series of articles on marriage.
So how does one determine if the tell-tale signs of problems reflect serious issues or just the normal give and take of an otherwise healthy marriage? Well, the very first precept that must be accepted is one of honesty and candor. There is no point in play games with yourself just for the sake of making it look good for yourself, your mate, or friends and family. Again, this is crucial if you are trying to get your ex back.
Okay, how does one go about performing this analysis or assessment? While the causes and depth of problem issues is much more complex, identifying a questionable condition of your marriage is relatively easy to achieve.
It starts with how the two of you feel about one another. This is truly key – especially if you are in a separated situation and are trying to get your ex back. Here are the top 5 questions that most experts agree are the key interrogatives regarding the health of a marriage:
1. Are you spending less time with your spouse than you used to?
2. Are the two of you engaged in serious conversation or arguments more often than lighthearted ones?
3. Are there topics of disagreement that resurface and never seem to be resolved?
4. Do you engage in fun things together – movies, dancing, theatre, dining out?
5. Do you confide in others, seek out others for fun or sex?
These are the primary indicators of a troubled marriage. On the other hand, however, if your answers are mostly in the negative – then you probably should have some genuine concern about the real health of your marriage. The obvious trump card, however, is number 5. You may have the semblance of happiness to your mate and others but if you have outside “interests” that should be found in your mate – then your marriage is on shaky ground. If you are trying to get ex back this is really a mandatory exercise.
