Jul - 25 - 2010

Frequently there are occassions  during  your relationship that  you think that you  are failing, however these feelings  can be used as stepping stones to make your relationship stronger more successful. Through failure we often  have the opportunity to learn the lessons that help us to grow, so never stop trying to make your relationship stronger, how to get your ex back needs  strength and determination.

The secret to success is to keep  trying, Michael Jordan the famous basket ball player missed far more shots than he ever made throughout  his career  can anybody remember? Of course  not they simply remember his unending  striving  for the next basket. So that’s the way you need to be with your relationship, keep searching for greater  strength and closeness  in your relationship.

Everybodies relationships go through periods of stress that can lead  to troubles, just  be aware  during these times you are not alone and however bad you think  things are most couples are able  to get over their problems. Keep trying. Just because you have not discovered  the answer to your problem  doesn’t mean that there is no answer, to how to get your ex back

Sit down  together somewhere quiet where you will not be interupted , get rid of your cell phones, and be get ready to be totally  truthful with each other. Think back to the beginning  of your relationship, when love was new, fresh and strong, then make a list, (write it down if you can), listing  the promises you gave  to each other and the how  you felt about those promises. Begin by each making a list without the other seeing it, when you have finished take it in turns to read the list out .

This will give you both a clear idea of those things that are important to the other, as it is human nature to remember most vividly those things that are closest to our hearts . Once  you have finished you can make  the lists into one, starting with the things you agree on, then go onto the things you do not agree on – “Just because you have not found a solution to your problem doesn’t mean that there is no solution.” The the second part of the list the things you cannot agree on is where you will find your problem or problems, now is the time to try your best to solve your problems and get your ex back  into the relationship  .

But, what should  we do when our best is not enough? Is something that frequently comes out when friends have reached an impasse  in  their relationship. This is where the first part of the combined  list comes into play. That was the part of the list that has  all the good things  you promised each other, when you first fell in love and that you still agree are crucial  to you both .

Take these promises that you made each other and re-affirm them to each other, listen and co-operate with with what each of you needs. take it slowly go over each promise slowly, and make sure  that it still holds meaning to you both. You will probably need to do this over several days. Anticipate the feelings that these promises will bring flooding back and strive to retain that feeling in every aspect  of your life together .

If you get into this process but you feel that you cannot find a way to get the answers you need , do not be afraid to seek  help. There are a lot of sources that you can get or go to for relationship advice, your church will have some kind of reconciliation counselling available, there are professional relationship advisors that you can find in the yellow book. Or you can do what I did when I had a problem with my relationship I found this fantastic advice site “Magic of Making Up” by T Dub Jackson, which we went through together and it helped us to work out our problems together and we are closer that ever now.

 

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